Tag Archives: Stellar Jays

Spring Portraits

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2016-03-28SpringPortraits2183

March is “When The Bluebirds Get Here” month. So is February. And sometimes April if the weather has been particularly bad, but this year the month is March.

In the past we had to rely on natural migration schedules to get our quotas of Western Bluebirds. They can be in short supply due to their being the most popular of the bluebird species, and they have often been coerced into going to other states by handouts of Bluebird chow, favorable nesting sites and one state who shall remain nameless but their initials are Utah, tried to make it their state bird, thereby gathering some legal advantage of some sort. In the past we have had to offer some of our sister states to the West a premium of two Stellar Jays and a Clark’s Nutcracker to get one Western Bluebird.

As you know The institute has its own Ornithology department with trained and highly intelligent bird guys (and girls) studying birds, bird books, bird seed, bird brains, and lately bird genetics. That’s the big one. That’s the one that is going to put us on the map bird-wise. Genetics is the new thing. It’s like plastic was in the 60’s. Huge.

They found that they can yank the DNA right out of a bird, futz around with it, and stuff it back in and make big changes to how a bird works. Our problem had been that bluebirds don’t like the cold so as soon as the temp drops much below 60 degrees they haul their little feathered keesters south for the winter. That’s the problem. While they’re down there they can be swayed by any one of those unscrupulous Orno guys from other states and we lose our stock of bluebirds.

The problem was birds head south, then we lose them. Solution, and this is where genius comes into play, is we took that bluebird DNA and added a whole bunch of genetic stuff to it before we repacked it back into the bluebirds. For instance we added the anti-freeze gene to it so now our bluebirds are good down to about -126 degrees, we added a fixed route from anywhere South directly to The Institutes front door to their GPS gene, we added the Horsepucky detector gene so that they can tell when they’re being conned by those guys from Utah, and lastly we added an extra amount of Bluebird blue to their blue color gene so we now have the brightest Western bluebirds in the northern hemisphere.

Their was one more big change we are experimenting with and this is the first spring to see how our experiment worked out. We added an extra gene to the Anti-freeze gene to make a small number of bluebirds hibernational. Hibernational is a term we just made up here in our Ornithology department that means these particular bluebirds can lower their body temperatures down to the approximate temperature of one of those Big Gulp Slurpee’s you get at 7-11 and then be buried in neat rows in the snow over the winter to be ready to emerge at the first sign of Spring.

When the snow melts as it does every spring the snow bound bluebirds slowly awaken as they respond to the sun’s rays on their little beaks, and they pop up through the snow like Pasque flowers and start hanging around, getting an early start on Spring. It gives them at least a two-week head start on those Utah bluebirds so they are already hooked up with a bluebird chick, found a good nesting box, etc. and our supply of Western Bluebirds is guaranteed. Their GPS gene tells them they’re already here so they don’t take off and go cruising somewhere else so we got them locked. Our own inbred species of Western Bluebirds. Neat Right? Science is really cool.

We are photographing each of our newly altered bluebirds and tattooing an ID number on the underside of their tongues so that we can better keep track of them. Here is the first reconstituted Western Bluebird to emerge from its snow bunker. He seems in fine shape. We’ll let you know how he does in the reproduction department as the data come in. So far it looks great.

Into Each Park Some Rain Must Fall

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Many years ago when Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was perhaps touring Yellowstone National Park he penned one of his famous poems titled “Rainy Day”. The last two lines of the poem are “Into each park some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary.” Well this was in 1842 and it is apparently still raining.

Later on the Inkspots were touring the park and covered the poem with their hit song “Into each Park Some Rain Must Fall”. This was back in the early 40’s and Ella Fitzgerald was so taken with it she joined them and together they brought out a jazz version of the song. It was raining that day too.

When we arrived at the park to conduct The Institutes semi-annual inspection it was raining and in fact it rained 15 days out of 17. The two days it didn’t rain we had some sunshine but it quickly turned to rain.

Upon questioning some of the park staff who refused to give us their names, we asked “Why is it freaking raining sooooo much?” We hated to sound like we were whining but enough with the rain already. They had several theories, the most plausible of which was that the animals after a hard winter, spent either hibernating, or standing around buttocks deep in snow, or laying in the dirt somewhere needed some sprucing up before the park officially sprang into high gear after Memorial day. We thought this theory had some merit after being downwind of the buffalo herd as it trudged up the Gibbon canyon. Three hours behind a buffalo herd will give you a new belief in the need for good animal hygiene.

But while some rain is good, great even, there might be too much of a good thing. These animals are now as clean as they are ever going to be. Sparkling, they look like they’ve had the best spa day ever. The Kardashians have never been as clean as these animals and we all know how long they spend at the spa. Weeks.

We thought that the animal washing theory was a little weak and conveyed that fact to the park representative we were speaking to but they adamantly defended this as a valid reason for the rain so, being as they are like official park officials we went along with it. After all if you can’t trust someone who works for the government, who you gonna trust?

So, comfortable with the reasons given for the seemingly endless rain we continued our inspection amongst the squeaky clean animals, enjoying the fresh fragrances of the buffalo and elk and even the grizzlies, although they had a slightly musty odor that went away later in the summer, we were told by the same knowledgeable official who had the rain theory. He said “Trust me, come back in August and smell one, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.” We gave that assignment to one of our newest interns.

We have provided you with an image of a high country valley being rained on as we toured up to Mt. Washburn, one of the highest peaks in the park, where it was raining. But with sweet-smelling ground squirrels and Stellar Jays accompanying us we hardly noticed. The rain. I think that was day nine. That was a particularly rainy day.

Note : To those of you tuning in late the following posts will catch you up on preceding events. There is no extra charge for this service it is included in the cost of admission. We know you don’t want to miss a minute of our fascinating but undocumented report.

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/the-words-out/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/announcement-13/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/yellowstone-passes-inspection/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/ghosts-in-the-darkness/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/you-dont-see-that-every-day/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/now-are-the-foxes/

Long Winter

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Well it’s been a long winter here at The Institute and there was a point where some despair was settling in, but as often happens when you set your resolve and say ” Darn it, it’s been a long winter and I sure as heck am sick of it, but I know that Spring will come, because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me” things will change and they did.

The last part of the quote we borrowed from an intern named Stuart who used to work for us and is one of the few that went on to bigger, and some say, better things. In fact he was the only one we know of that isn’t still on public assistance after leaving here. However the jury is still out on whether that is an improvement because becoming a bigwig in the government isn’t everyone’s idea of bettering themselves.

But we made it. It looks like Spring is here, our Aspen have those tiny little neon green leaves that nearly glow they’re so bright. There’s small little red buds peeking out from under last years canes on the rose bushes. Stellar Jays have arrived in flocks of indigo blue flashes as they flit from tree to tree. One day not long ago an entire herd of robins came and sat in one of our snags and completely filled every spot available for sitting. Usually you just look up and there’s a few robins but that day there were dozens and dozens. That’s pretty darn spring-like.

We wanted to show you some pictures of Spring here at The Institute but our cameras are still in storage and we can’t find the blowtorch to thaw the lock on the door so this shot of Spring in Arches National Park will have to stand in for us. It’s pretty close to what things look like here anyway so we didn’t think it would matter that much. The green on that tree is almost exactly the shade of our green, you just have to disregard the sand though as we don’t have nearly that much lying around.

Spring always causes a flurry of action here at The Institute. The snow melts away and we find the road again right where we left it last fall. That’s going to make our coming and going easier. The overflow of interns we had last fall begin to dig out of the caves they spent the winter in. We had a larger than normal number of interns for some reason, we think it was for the free food and the chance to watch HBO up at the big house once in a while. The dorms were packed and couldn’t handle even one more body. We need to pay attention to the fire code here as having over ten or more people in a single room often leads to friction and that leads to heat and that leads to fire and it’s awful. Plus we don’t need anymore adverse publicity after that fiasco with the Intern Riots, Fall of 2014 where they nearly burned The Institutes main center down. The only thing that saved us was that the main building’s first four stories are made of pre-stressed concrete and are very hard to ignite. However most of that crew is gone.  But being young and cunning and thinking more about survival, the more resourceful of them, at least the ones that didn’t perish in the cold, dug substantial caves and apparently made them quite homey.

Spring is always a time of renewal and it’s always a welcome sight to see the interns emerging from the cliff side, wan and somewhat emaciated but cheerful never the less, blinking and rubbing their eyes as they see the sun for the first time in months. They seem eager for the spring routine to begin where they’re run through the communal showers, shorn and issued their new spring work clothes. It’s a wonderful start to the year. Spring brings out the best in everyone and we’re looking forward to great things as The Institute gets rolling again. We have big plans. Stay tuned for further adventures.

Note: Due to an unexpectedly high mortality rate amongst our interns we are now accepting applications for employment. If you are considering a change of pace and want an action packed, semi-dangerous occupation with the opportunity to accomplish little or nothing of value at a criminally low pay scale please send your resume to the  Director@BigShotsNow.com We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

Observations of a Wolf

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Wolves are a lot like you and me. When they’re out of regular wolf stuff to do, like running down a buffalo, or snarling at somebody who gets too close at the wrong time, or they’re out of sorts because their kid didn’t make the honor roll, but they’re not at that point where they have to go bite something, they find a quiet place to sit and think and  watch what other folks are doing.

That’s what Rodin is doing at the moment. He’s part of the Fishing Wolves* pack at the Wolf refuge in West Yellowstone and he’s already caught his rainbow for the day and got to eat the entire thing without having to share it with the alpha male. That’s a stroke of luck he hadn’t counted on because the alpha usually takes it away from him before he gets a chance to do much more than hold it in his mouth for a moment.

HIs stomach full and his work done for the moment, he gets to go to his favorite place, the high grass in the boulder field and watch what every one else is doing. The alpha is picking on another young wolf today, running him through his paces, teaching him who the bull duck in the pond is, or in this case who the alpha male is in the wolf pack. That cute young grey is looking at him again. He has to play it cool though so the alpha doesn’t notice. Since they’re in an enclosure it’s not like they can sneak away or anything and right now the thought of the beating he’ll get if he returns her interest doesn’t make him feel very amorous.

Stellar jays have been squawking over something, hopping from the lower branches to the ground and back up again, agitated enough it’s causing the pine cones to fall off the branches and rattle around on the ground. It’s drawing in the magpies who’ll make short work of running them off. Whatever it is it’s outside of the fence so it doesn’t affect him.

It’s a perfect day in the neighborhood. The sun’s out but because it’s mid-September it’s not too hot and the wind is just enough to move the grass back and forth a little. It feels good rubbing up against his side. If nobody notices he might just lay down for a nap, something he doesn’t get a chance to do very often. Maybe he’ll dream of running over the long rolling hills up in the Lamar or setting off with the young grey to find their own territory. After all, the skies the limit when you’re dreaming.

* http://www.bigshotsnow.com/2013/05/05/

Slowing Down the Days

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WesternTanager3910Western Tanager                                 click to enlarge

Not quite yet. It’s not quite Spring enough and certainly too soon for Summer but it’s starting. The birds are coming back. We tell time here by when certain birds return, it’s one of  the ways we make the year last longer. If you’re waiting for something to arrive it makes time slow down but the trick is you have something else lined up to wait for when you finally get what you’ve been waiting for in the first place. If you don’t then time grabs the bit between its teeth and races hell-for-leather forward and before you know it its way too late. You’ve lost a whole month or even a year or if you’re not really careful a whole damn life. We don’t want to lose a second, let alone a whole life, so our waiting calendar is pretty full.

Back in February the bluebirds arrived, then Robins, some people say the Robins don’t leave but I can tell you they avoid the high country until it warms up some. The Camp Robbers or Clark’s Nutcracker have been here all winter. They moved on down to get out of the miserable weather above the tree-line in December. We’re waiting for them to go back home. Magpies are another year-round bird here. We’re just waiting for them to do something different. Stellar Jays head downhill when the weather gets bad but they’ve started returning now, so all’s well with them.

Golden eagles are hanging out more on the cliff face behind the house and the Great horned owls have started nesting. There are a pair of Redtail hawks checking out the nest on the road to the cement plant so maybe we get to wait to see what happens there. And one of the big arrivals that screams out Spring, is the return of the Willox St. ospreys and they’re back. I saw the female sitting on the nest yesterday and the male perched nearby guarding her. Now we can wait for this year’s chicks to arrive. That cements Spring firmly in place. The world is becoming right again.

The glitterati of the bird world hasn’t shown up yet but that’s what happens when you wait. You gotta wait. We’re talking hummingbirds in all their various flavors and one of my personal superstars the Western Tanager pictured above. I’ve got time slowed down to just over twice its normal speed which is pretty good actually. There’s a line in an old song about going so fast that telephone poles going by looked like a picket fence. It used to be that days were the telephone poles, now it’s years that are the telephone poles. I’m actively considering adding waiting for the coming of free-range penguins to my wait list. That ought to slow things down pretty good.