Starting today I will be in Washington D.C. helping our lawmakers straighten things out. That means that I won’t be here then, running The Institute in the manner to which you’ve become accustomed, it being nearly impossible to be in two places at the same time. Things haven’t been going all that smoothly there in the Beltway lately and I received a call from one of the more important members of our leadership and his wife saying, “Director, we’re kind of lost here. We’ve lost our way and we need some guidance. We’ve been watching the good job you’ve been doing there at The Institute and feel you could be a big help in putting us back on the straight and narrow.”
Of course I was flattered and said I’d be right there, don’t do anything important until I get there. Just wait. There’s enough things screwed up already. If you want me to help just sit on your hands and don’t touch nothing until I show up. I thought I’d start with a little leadership right out of the chute by telling them where the bear crapped in the buckwheat so there wasn’t any misunderstandings when I began leading. I mean helping with the leading.
We’ve been having a little trouble getting our grants run through congress too, and this years funding doesn’t look that great either so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone. So I’ve got meetings up the ying-yang the entire time I’m there. I was supposed to meet with our Colorado congress people but I couldn’t remember who they were and neither could they, and what with us legalizing pot and all I didn’t know how much use they’d be, so I arranged a meeting with the representatives from New Hampshire instead. They’ve got a great big website and were wearing vests, so I thought they’ve got mountains, that was almost as good.
While out there in the wilds of Washington D.C. I’ll be staying with some really special people who make up a large part of the taxpaying members of my personal family. They would be all the legitimate children of mine that I can locate and they’ve promised food and a warm bed and access to their touring expertise so I will avail myself of that. I think I can get Washington whipped into shape in a couple of weeks so I’ll be back around the first of April. I don’t know what the blogging is going to be like out there. I’m sure that Mr. & Mrs. You-Know-Who are going to be keeping me pretty darn busy just walking around the
White, I mean the Big house and such, let alone formulating foreign policy. We’ve got a big job to do in getting those hammerheads in the mid-east to knock it off or else.
OK then, there it is. I’ll be gone, I’ll be back and between those two events who knows. Talk to you soon.