The Revival Meeting

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It’s late fall in northern Montana. The colors are at their peak and the mornings are cold. Everyone knows that winter is just around the corner. The easy life will soon be gone, over for the next six months and pickings will be slim. It’s hard to fish when the rivers and lakes are frozen solid. Everybody’s kind of nervous, lost, worried about their future. It looks sort of dark out there down the road aways. What will we do, where will we go, we need some help here. These thoughts and more are tossed back and forth between the members of the flock as they huddle around the family roost.

What’s needed is some good old-time religion. Some branch shaking, heart pumping, throw your beak back and squawk kind of let it roll, eel handling, religion. The kind that shakes you up a little bit. Gets you loose in your seat, makes you want to stand up, flap your wings a little and throw out an Amen. Now’s the time to think about your past deeds and what’s in store for you down the road. It’s also time to shift that burden and lighten your soul. Time to have a Revival meeting.

 The Reverend Clamorous T. Journey is the just the bird for the job. Nobody can raise the ghost like the good reverend. Images of Fire and brimstone are replaced with ice and snow and feathers frozen together, and diving down into the icy water and not having the strength to get back up. Winding up dead-still on the shore line, a pile of wet feathers waiting for the merciless end at the jaws of the next hungry scavenger that comes along. He can set the scene like no other, the good reverend, which is why when the donation plate is sent around it always comes back overflowing with fish.

But he also gives them hope and direction, telling them about the land to the south where it’s always warm, and the fish swim in schools so thick they jump in your bill just to get away from the crowd. Where you’re never cold and your feathers dry in moments just by holding them up towards the sun. All you have to do is send in a Free-Will Love Offering of five fish a piece and you’ll get a beautiful four-color waterproof map showing all the easiest routes to paradise plus as an added bonus you’ll get a sanctified solid silver-plated compass that always points south with Reverend Clamorous’ picture stamped on the back.

That was just what the flock needed. They got rid of all that bad stuff that had been building up all summer. They got to squawk themselves hoarse. They jumped up, flapped their wings, clacked their beaks until they were sore. They had their Revival meeting and they had a plan. There was just enough time for a final fishing expedition, then getting the roost in order so everything was good when they got back next spring and they are out of here. Clutching their gorgeous four-color maps in their feet, making sure their shiny new solid silver-plated compasses were securely fastened around their necks, they’re off on their way to paradise. It was a good Revival meeting.