Anybody Seen A Mule

Anyone seen a mule? He’s 19 hands tall, sort of a creamy color with a big dark splotch on his face, one ear’s been chewed on pretty good and he’s got two different colored eyes. Tends to be moody and prone to bite. Occasionally answers to the name of Get Back Here.

Mountain men have a special relationship with their animals. They need them for every thing they do from riding them, packing on them, helping to keep watch at night by causing all kind of hell if there’s something around that shouldn’t be. Plus they’re good companions. Normally they’re well behaved and tend to stay close to their owners.

There are exceptions however, and old Get Back Here is a prime example of just how contrary they can be. He’s a master of the quick escape. Hobble him and he can jump walk three miles by morning. Tie him to a picket line and he’ll get that knot loose like Houdini. Stake him out on a tether and come morning he’s gone, stakes gone and you’re on foot thinking, just how tough would mule meat actually be.

Course the rest of the fellows in the group are going to make comments and suggestions about how to handle that mule. Nobody will laugh outright at him because the mules owner has been known to be unpredictable after he’s chased that mule all over the canyon.

He’s going to be fortunate this morning because some of the boys that were watering their own stock down at the creek latched on to him and he was soon back in camp. History does not relate what happened or was said between mule and owner but that’s probably a good thing. There’s a lot of sensitive folks that read the blog and we’re pretty darn careful about offending them.

Fire In The Hole

First you hear the small click as the hammer drops forward and the flint strikes the frizzen, a metal plate made of steel, causing sparks to drop into the pan holding a small amount of gunpowder. The resulting fire, or flash in the pan, caused by the sparks igniting the powder travels through a small hole in the barrel where the main charge of gunpowder rests. A lead bullet with its wrapping of cloth separating the bullet from the powder charge sits tightly packed against the main powder charge. In a moment almost too fast to measure the main charge of powder ignites with a mighty roar and the bullet and the fire driving it speeds down the barrel to its target.

When everything happens correctly, and you truly want it to happen correctly, say when a grizzly is charging you intent on dismembering you, or an enemy is trying to shoot you at the same time you’re trying to shoot him, you want all the actions described above to function as designed and produce that fire in the hole. As you can see above everything worked as planned and a successful shot was fired. Now to load the rifle again in a big hurry if that shot at the grizzly went wide.

The Laughing Mule

Click on image for full color

Mules are different than you and me. I mean they’re different from me. I’ve never seen you so I can’t say for certain, but I suspect given that you’re here reading this that they are.

They are incredibly observant for one thing. They don’t always look like it but they are watching everything around them, cataloging it, storing it in their mule data base at the bottom of their brain pan under the “this’ll get ’em” section for later use when it benefits them the most.

They have incredible memories. They remember everything with an unusual clarity that they trot out every now and then just to amuse themselves or embarrass you.

They laugh with their whole body and since mules are big that’s a lot of laugh. You can always tell when a mule remembers something funny. They’ll plant their feet, lean back a little and let it fly. They’ve got no filter, when they think it, out it comes. You can hear that raucous laughter for miles. Many a mule rider wished for one with no sense of humor while in Indian country.

They love to tell embarrassing stories about their riders. The more embarrassing the better. Here this mule is relating to the rest of the crowd how his rider, well, I’ll let you hear it in the mules own words. “Remember that time when we was down near that Chiricahua camp but we didn’t know it and you was bragging about how you could tell if there was any Indians about and you said “They ain’t no Indians for three miles in any direction and you looked up at the ridge and there was about 40 of ’em. You still can’t sit straight from that arrow that stuck in your backside. If I hadn’t a run like a deer parts of you would still be decorating their lodges.” Like I said mules don’t cut anybody any slack.

Once they like you, if they ever do, they like you forever. They’re your new best friend and they’ll watch out for you, cart you all over hell and back, carry your stuff without complaining, uhmm, I need to rephrase that, They complain all the time, at least some of them do. They can be world class complainers. The other ones, who just complain a little, just look at you with that “You think I’m carrying any more of that? You carry it. See how you like it.” or simply ” I ain’t going in there.” and they mean it. You’ve heard “Stubborn as a Mule.” Well that wasn’t made up because they cheerfully do whatever you tell them to.

By an large though, mules are OK, even if they are different from you and me. I for one like mules. I like their attitude. I like their independence. I like the fact that they use their no holds barred sense of humor to get through life. I just like them. Maybe if you met a couple of them, got to know them, had a chance to talk with them for awhile you’d like them too. Try it, see how it goes.

Oh yeah, one more thing, they’re sensitive about their ears. As they can make your life pretty damn miserable don’t say anything about their ears. I’m serious it can ruin the whole damn trip.

Help Wanted

Shark0731

Help Wanted ! Shark Polisher

Shark Polisher urgently needed at the World Famous Shark Emporium here at The Institute. Experience helpful but not required. Work side by side with Great Whites, Hammerheads and those goofy but loveable Bullsharks. On the job training. Excellent benefits. Swimming experience a plus but not essential. All equipment provided. Employee must supply their own swimwear. If you have ever wanted to experience the excitement of polishing a shark in its own un-natural environment this is the opportunity of a lifetime.Our sharks occasionally become tarnished due to the constant exposure to the public and need to be polished to bring back their full luster. Be able to brag to your friends and loved ones that you not only work at the prestigious Institute but you are a shark polisher! We have immediate openings on all shifts. Daycare, 401k’s, insurance referrals, parking validated, remodeled break room, tattoo removal, especially those prominently displayed on appendages, discounts at the main Institutes cafeteria, free subscription to The Institutes blog, BigShotsNow.com, T-shirt with I am a shark polisher emblazoned on both front and back provided after one full month of shark polishing, automatic notification of next of kin if for some reason you do not complete your shift, maternity and/or fathernity leave available no questions asked, are all provided. We are an equal opportunity employer. We cheerfully meet the new government minimum wage requirements. Se habla espanol. Send resume or your name and a working phone number to The Director at The Institute. Immediate response guaranteed.

Announcement! 200th Post! Thousands weep!

Announcement1490click to enlarge

It’s time for a small celebration here at BigShotsNow.com. We can proudly announce that today marks our 200th post. That’s an accomplishment that ranks right up there with successfully completing a pedicure, filing your own taxes and being chosen as the bachelor most likely to stay that way. None the less it is an accomplishment. Hell I know people that haven’t completed 200 things in their whole life other than mistakes.

During that time we have posted diverse articles that touched on subjects ranging from political events, personal feelings, life in the fast lane, life in the slow lane, history, suspense, satire, introspection of the worst possible kind, wildlife that occasionally involved animals, things that make you go hmmm, and maybe some just plain fun. Here are a dozen or so that seemed to make you happy or at least less murderous, and they are presented again for your reading and viewing pleasure.

Montana fixer-upper http://www.bigshotsnow.com/montana-fixer-upper/

Bones of the Past http://www.bigshotsnow.com/bones-of-the-past/

One-headed Buffalo calf  http://www.bigshotsnow.com/one-headed-buffalo-calf/

1875  http://www.bigshotsnow.com/1875-2/

Zen & Everclear http://www.bigshotsnow.com/zen-and-everclear/

Fishing Wolves http://www.bigshotsnow.com/fishing-wolves/

So a Condor, a Raven and A Duck Walk into this Bar… http://www.bigshotsnow.com/so-a-condor-a-raven-and-a-duck-walk-into-this-bar/

Birthin’ Babies http://www.bigshotsnow.com/birthin-babies/

Just Two Guys http://www.bigshotsnow.com/just-two-guys/

Boulders For Sale or Rent http://www.bigshotsnow.com/boulders-for-sale-or-rent/

Moab’s Secret Shame http://www.bigshotsnow.com/moabs-secret-shame/

Heading Sideways http://www.bigshotsnow.com/heading-sideways/

Ladies Please http://www.bigshotsnow.com/ladies-please/

When I was Just a Young Boy http://www.bigshotsnow.com/when-i-was-just-a-young-boy/

Most of our posts have been presented with relentless monotony and that may continue but life has a weird but strange habit of affecting the best laid plans so there may be some gaps in the future. It is time for me to get back out in the field and actually take pictures again and there may be some empty days, post-wise, as I tend to be places where there isn’t cell phone service let alone the internet. I know that may be hard to understand but there are still places where those things are of lesser importance. On a more serious note, if you can stand the shock, I want to thank all of you who have been following the blog. It has made my feeble attempts at telling my stories worthwhile and it helps knowing that there are those of you who may be addicted to this walk on the wild side. (There is no treatment or cure by the way) Thanks one more time for being you and I’ll see you in the blog.

And Now For Something Completely Different

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This is the time of year when we begin to shift away from the vibrant colors of the green growing season. The riotous colors of summer have had their day and now the parties’ over. As you look around it may be difficult to spot beauty, the colors are muted and understated, the background support of the greenery is gone and things stand on their own. You begin to see shapes and textures in a way that wasn’t apparent before. You have to look closer and with a different eye, if you will, to see the beauty that exists when the season begins to prepare itself for the long winter sleep.

I have long appreciated the Japanese aesthetics and view of the individual as opposed to the many, in finding beauty. According to the western take on Japanese aesthetics, “the Japanese aesthetic is a set of ancient ideals that include wabi (transient and stark beauty), sabi (the beauty of natural patina and aging), and yūgen (profound grace and subtlety)”. At least that’s how the bright folks over at Wikipedia see it. That description works for me too.

Many times when my mind needs clearing I will go out and look for this kind of image. The time it takes to find it and get my mind aligned with the calmness needed to see the perfect combination that is the melding of the transient, stark beauty with the natural patina and aging, transports me from a dark place to one filled with light. It is very cheap therapy.

To some this image will look like a picture of some weeds and to them I say “You’re right, but what beautifully exquisite weeds.”  To you I say “Take it for whatever value it provides.” and I hope it provides you with some peace and tranquility if that is what you need.