Monthly Archives: March 2015

Bad Boys, Bad Boys Whatcha Gonna Do

Posted on by

BadBoys6400

The Stallions at McCullough peaks in Wyoming are shown here in a rare moment of peacefulness but don’t let that fool you. Before you can say “Glue Factory” they’ll be back at each others throats again. Teeth gnashing, hooves striking, kicking, every dirty trick in the “Young Horses guide to Street Fighting” will be put to use.

If you look at the white spots on the side of Frazier there on the left and also on the legs of Tyson in the middle and of course Mr. Ali on the right who had the least number of scars visible but that’s because he is pretty and kept backing into the ropes and covering up. Those aren’t beauty marks. Those are bite marks. Bite marks that took out hair and hide and became permanent reminders that these bad boys play rough.

Why these guys are standing there not biting each other is a mystery. Especially Tyson, he’s really good at biting. The only answer could be that they were posing for the new Fight Club poster that will be put up at watering holes throughout the area.

This small break in the tension is so welcome by the herd, three mares had foals out of sheer surprise. This is a special event and every single member of the herd is taking full  advantage of the lull in the fighting. If you look in the background you can see horses standing quietly, reading, having a smoke, some even lying down. They know to take advantage of these times as they are very rare and short-lived.

When they were young foals or just out of foalburty they were known as Curly, Moe, and Larry. Then their true natures began to show and now they’re Frazier, Tyson and Mr. Ali or most commonly by everyone else in the herd, as simply the Bad Boys. Check them out, what with Spring coming on you probably won’t get the chance to see them this quiet again for a very long time.

Buffalo Jokes

Posted on by

2014-11-22BuffaloJokes0374

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde’s drivers license. She dug thru her purse getting more and more agitated.

“What does it look like?” she finally asked. The policewoman replied “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror handed it back saying, “OK you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

Dead Tree National Park

Posted on by

deadtreepark,1007a

Dead Tree National Park

Americas Newest (proposed) National Park

Well it’s Official! All those rumors you’ve been hearing about a brand new national park are true. Our confidential source inside the National Park Service has informed us that within days if not weeks or months or even possibly years, the national Park Service is going to submit to our Congress a bill creating Americas newest National Park, Dead Tree National park.

We here at The Institute have been working tirelessly behind the scenes trying to make this new park a reality. Extending from a point just outside of Great Falls in Western Montana to the outer edge of Idaho and from Canada down to a little above Boise, touching the corner of Yellowstone National Park and including all of the sticky-up part of Idaho, this park will be larger than Pakistan, but without all that ritual killing and covered up women and stuff. Rather than being square in shape which everyone involved thought has been done to death and is boring, this new park will be shaped like a partially peeled potato.

 

deadtreepark,8003

The main theme of the park is spelled out in its name, Dead Tree National Park, and consequently all the attractions feature dead trees. Since there are so many of them, dead trees that is, scattered throughout this area of the country, the decision makers at the National Park Service thought that they should be commemorated and the idea of this newest park was born. Here we see a finished portion of the park. Notice the picturesque way the hillside has been landscaped, with carefully charred stumps and the delightful placing of the deadfall.  The Park Service ever mindful of the long-range planning necessary to maintain a national park has included plantings of replacement trees, called the undead, to insure that there will always be a plentiful supply of dead trees in the future.

deadtreepark,8681

This park is designed to be a year-round attraction, so much attention has been paid to creating views that enhance the natural seasons. This view is known as blow down alley and is perfect to showcase not only the dead fallen trees but those that are in the process of falling down, and of course, the numerous snowfalls that occur here. Note the inclusion of the undead. One can already see the design possibilities ahead when these trees get to the point where they become dead too.

deadtreepark,1007

Because some areas of the park are not considered dead enough or perhaps more clearly, do not have enough dead trees, new and radical procedures are being developed to hurry along the process of creating dead trees. Global warming, usually seen as a detriment to trees and other living things, is seen here being put to use, or at least its solar potential is being used, to burn the needles and leaves off an experimental patch of trees to see if the dead-making process can be accelerated. The results have been promising so far.

deadtreepark,0453

In answer to some of the park’s critics that state that this whole concept is anti-wildlife in nature and will result in the loss of animals and birds in this part of the country, the National Park Service says Poppycock!, and proudly points to this healthy, well-adjusted Black bear seen investigating his new environment. Plus they state a bird has been recently seen also.

deadtreepark,7226

To conclude our visit to America’s newest national park we’d like to show a completed portion of the park located up near the Canadian border. This is it in all its glory, dead trees for as far as the eye can see. This is a particularly rare collection and shows to what length the parks creators have gone to, to have this many dead trees still in their upright positions, what they like to refer to as Standing Dead, or trees that haven’t fallen over yet. Our friends in the Great White North have been paying close attention to the efforts we have been making in creating this unique park and have stated that they are truly amazed, they say it’s unbelievable and they have never, ever seen anything like it. We take this as the highest form of praise. So keep your eye on Congress and be ready to jump in and help if we meet with any opposition. America needs this new park, our older parks are fine and all that but they are growing a little stale. It’s time to show the world again that we can be a great leader in everything, including protecting and developing our natural resources. Remember its name, Dead Tree national Park, coming to a bumper sticker near you soon.

The Revival Meeting

Posted on by

RevivalMeeting8320

It’s late fall in northern Montana. The colors are at their peak and the mornings are cold. Everyone knows that winter is just around the corner. The easy life will soon be gone, over for the next six months and pickings will be slim. It’s hard to fish when the rivers and lakes are frozen solid. Everybody’s kind of nervous, lost, worried about their future. It looks sort of dark out there down the road aways. What will we do, where will we go, we need some help here. These thoughts and more are tossed back and forth between the members of the flock as they huddle around the family roost.

What’s needed is some good old-time religion. Some branch shaking, heart pumping, throw your beak back and squawk kind of let it roll, eel handling, religion. The kind that shakes you up a little bit. Gets you loose in your seat, makes you want to stand up, flap your wings a little and throw out an Amen. Now’s the time to think about your past deeds and what’s in store for you down the road. It’s also time to shift that burden and lighten your soul. Time to have a Revival meeting.

 The Reverend Clamorous T. Journey is the just the bird for the job. Nobody can raise the ghost like the good reverend. Images of Fire and brimstone are replaced with ice and snow and feathers frozen together, and diving down into the icy water and not having the strength to get back up. Winding up dead-still on the shore line, a pile of wet feathers waiting for the merciless end at the jaws of the next hungry scavenger that comes along. He can set the scene like no other, the good reverend, which is why when the donation plate is sent around it always comes back overflowing with fish.

But he also gives them hope and direction, telling them about the land to the south where it’s always warm, and the fish swim in schools so thick they jump in your bill just to get away from the crowd. Where you’re never cold and your feathers dry in moments just by holding them up towards the sun. All you have to do is send in a Free-Will Love Offering of five fish a piece and you’ll get a beautiful four-color waterproof map showing all the easiest routes to paradise plus as an added bonus you’ll get a sanctified solid silver-plated compass that always points south with Reverend Clamorous’ picture stamped on the back.

That was just what the flock needed. They got rid of all that bad stuff that had been building up all summer. They got to squawk themselves hoarse. They jumped up, flapped their wings, clacked their beaks until they were sore. They had their Revival meeting and they had a plan. There was just enough time for a final fishing expedition, then getting the roost in order so everything was good when they got back next spring and they are out of here. Clutching their gorgeous four-color maps in their feet, making sure their shiny new solid silver-plated compasses were securely fastened around their necks, they’re off on their way to paradise. It was a good Revival meeting.