Horses – Wild Ones

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This is the real deal. Wild horses. Not those tame ones a few of the western states rent out to stand alongside the road and look wild. These are the real bona-fide dyed-in-the-wool wild horses that belong to the McCullough Peaks wild horse herd. They live outdoors. There is none of this bring them inside to get out of the weather, or wear a blanket to keep flies off of them, stuff going on here. First off, if the stallions let you get close enough to even put a rope on one they’d tear that blanket off before you could say, “Hey! Dammit, that blanket cost 130 bucks”. Plus they’d chase you back to your rig so fast you’d have that embarrassed look on your face that you hope nobody saw.

If you look closely you won’t see any wear marks on them that indicates they wear saddles. Instead you will see all along their sides and legs and sometimes their faces, bite marks. Acres of bite marks. That’s because that’s what they do all day, every day, is have some kind of altercation with the other horses in the herd. If they’re stallions they have them because stallions fight, often, vigorously, and with malice a forethought. That is their job. They have to do it because, just like every pond has to have a bull duck on it, there has to be a dominant, I am the freaking boss here, stallion in the herd.  And since there are at least a half-dozen stallions in this group the fights go on, and on.

Same with the mares except they tend to get upset over more domestic matters. They handle their problems much like the stallion’s. “Get away from my kid, you great stupid cow” which is one of the  worst insults in the horse community. Someone gets kicked in the face after that is tossed out there. Or bitten. Or both. Usually though there is snorting, then swapping ends, then kicking, then biting, just to make sure you got the message. Anyway it leaves marks.

This morning it just felt like the time to interject a little reality back into the system. Wild horses do it for me. Just knowing that Wild Horses, not tame ones, just the real deal are still running loose out there. That feels ok doesn’t it?

Can’t We All Just Get Along

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While visiting the McCullough Peaks wild horse herd near Cody, Wyoming this summer we had an opportunity to spend several hours with them. As trained observers we immediately were able to learn everything there was to know about them as horses in a non-horse world. There is not one fact pertaining to wild horses that we were not able to observe and interpret so that we might impart this knowledge to you, our interested readers.

For instance, we were able to determine through very close observation that these animals are known as quadrupeds, due to the fact that they have four legs each, one on each corner, which aids in their ability to move around. They have a prominent head which is conveniently placed near the front of their bodies which contain all the necessary features they need to go through life, a mouth, two eyes for binocular vision, ears, etc. This isn’t exactly David Attenborough stuff. This is all pretty obvious, any third year grad student could figure these things out, so we’ll move on to the less obvious things we learned.

One of the most striking facts about them was they have a fairly uncomplicated judicial system. If there is a disagreement they simply bite each other until it’s solved. Consequently events are handled with the minimum amount of litigation and disputes are settled immediately. Their incidence of major crimes are very low. Murder is practically unheard of and if it is, the winner ( the one left standing) was obviously in the right and the rest of herd goes on about its business as usual. They do tend to give that individual his space from then on but that seems only prudent. Carjacking is unheard of. Malicious mischief is primarily a juvenile crime and is treated by a substantial nip from the closest adult to the perpetrator. Social services are provided by the herd in general. It takes a herd to raise a child. And divorce is handled simply by one stallion biting the bejezus out of the other and taking his old lady. This is a term used by the herd and does not indicate any sexism on the part of the observer or the rest of the horses.

However it obviously worked and worked well. While we were there they had any numbers of disputes and one divorce but the entire system held up and justice was served. There was also a noticeable absence of litigators in the herd. The one we did see was completely covered in bite marks and had a part of its ear missing, so it looks like the herd believes that one should keep its snout out of other horses business. This is an unprofitable occupation to be in when you have a system that handles its own problems.

There were other important observations made such as their ability to navigate without a GPS. Another was how they were able to distinguish one individual from another when all the white ones looked alike. To be fair and unbiased all the brown ones and grey ones looked alike too. A biggie for our observers was how they overcame the language barrier and were able to communicate without being able to speak English. A simple whinny produced the most amazing results.

There was a never-ending flurry of horse facts that filled notebook after notebook until it was time to leave. We feel that we have increased the knowledge about mustangs and wild horses in particular, to the point where we can answer any question you may have about horses, their attitudes and general belief structures, and how they make a living. If you have any questions please send them along with a self-addressed, stamped envelope and we’ll try to get them answered for you. Easy ones will get an immediate response while hard ones may take a month or two.