Anasazi Garden

AnazasiGarden1468

When many people think of the desert the first image that comes to mind is the Great Sahara desert, or perhaps the Skeleton Coast of Namibia, or the Great Sand Dunes of the Southwestern United states, or even your back yard if you don’t water it. A place barren and inhospitable to life. A place where nothing grows and you dare not venture far from water lest you perish. Which is a pretty easy thing to do if you’re standing out there in the noon day sun with no hat, which we would hasten to add you shouldn’t do, even if you are English and that comes natural to you. We’ve noticed that whenever we’re trapped in the desert and near death we always have a vision of Joe Cocker in his bright red English soldiers jacket singing “With a Little Help From My Friends” marching on before us. This always saves us and we make it back to civilization in one piece, thirsty but alive, but then we’re experts and trained for this kind of thing. But that’s just us, your mileage may vary.

But if you are somewhere like Johns canyon, Utah and its early morning you’ll see something entirely different. A desert garden literally brimming with life. It may be different than what you’re used to thinking of how a garden should be, but then you’re in a different place than you would normally be. As you journey through the canyons you will see small gardens tucked away in every nook and cranny, one after the other until you realize that this is a veritable oasis in the middle of a desolate land.

We are always struck by how similar in feel these desert gardens are to Japanese gardens, which couldn’t be more opposite in nature. The Japanese garden being lush and green with carefully manicured plants, with small trickling streams feeding into water-lily filled ponds, compared to this dry desert garden with its carefully chosen plants, tucked in amongst the boulders, placed just so to take advantage of what ever moisture may be sent its way. The color palette of this garden with its earth tones and giant boulders selected for their color and texture and positioned to fill the space but not overwhelm it is the same in feel if not color, as you find in the perfect temple gardens of Kyoto.

Sometimes we think, that is the experts in our botanical department who are paid to think about these things, think, that there must have been an early visitation to this land by wandering Samurai gardeners who traveled the world spreading their knowledge of how to make a perfect garden where one couldn’t possibly be, teaching people like the Anasazi how to have beauty in their lives in an inhospitable place. A group of Ninja gardening warriors, as it were, dedicated to creating beauty in even the most unreceptive, belligerent landscapes. Or not. But it’s as good a reason as any for the gardens being there.

Our First-strike gardeners here at *The Institute’s World-wide Center for Horticultural Research and truck farm have been collecting gardens just like this one and transporting them root and twig, back to our Botanical center completely intact, where our own hybrid gardeners keep and protect them for posterity. We have gardens similar in size and scope to this one that we have found throughout the world and brought back here to the Institute for safe keeping and our own personal viewing pleasure. Sometimes we let the public view them but not very often. You actually have to have some kind of pull to get in. If you’re interested write us and include your bio and an 11,000 word essay on why we should even let you in the front door and we’ll get back to you if you qualify. Thank you in advance for your interest.

* Note: For those of you unfamiliar with The Institute and what it does, please see the page labeled The Institute on the Menu Bar above. That should explain everything. You shouldn’t have one single question remaining regarding The Institute after reading it. None. For those of you favored few who already know about the Institute, Nevermind. Return to your daily activities. Thank you for your support.

We’re Tanned, We’re Rested, We’re Ready to Rock

Sunrise6497Grand Canyon Sunrise                                               click to enlarge

So 2013 is so over. Good riddance because just between you and me it really, really sucked. I mean it’s suckage went right off the chart. But it’s gone and now we have 2014, which according to all the bones and auguries and communing with the suckage gods, is going to be a much better year. I think we’re talking about a year filled with bluebells and puppies and fresh breezes and new friends and everything that can be different from last year. A nice year.

The Institute is slowly getting back to normal with staff trickling back in at an alarmingly slow rate. We’ve got a lot of stuff to wrap up from last year. Many of our very important projects are on hold until we get most of our critical staff back. We’ve still got people missing. Our young photographer that was trapped in Yellowstone National Park because of the shut down is yet to be accounted for. As far as I know we have at least one employee still in a Mexican border town jail. I’d bet on more actually. We should probably do something about getting him out, the dipstick. If you remember we told him not to go down there but do they listen? Noooo. So he’s been there since maybe October.

We had staffing problems and food riots and people getting caught on the razor wire while trying to escape, I mean leave without checking out. The compressor went out on the food lockers leaving the staff with only the frozen Lamprey to eat that we got at such a good price, and that caused some problems. Our attempt at restoring our usual good morale that had sunk to an all time low backfired, right into the crapper actually, it seems turning off the heat to the staff sleeping quarters to get those bad apples to straighten out didn’t have the desired results, and consequently resulted in a huge loss of many of our valuable room furnishings, as they used them for an unauthorized heat source. A lot of them were irreplaceable treasures gleaned from Goodwill and other major retailers and will be very difficult to get reimbursed and replaced by our insurance company.

There were some problems last year and we blame mainly the government for them and we blame mostly our sorry but pathetic legislative body which cannot seem to get their act together. We feel confident that things will change for the better as they, the sorry but pathetic legislative body, who are most of our government if you don’t count the autocratic bureaucracy, have told us that they’ve changed their ways and they’re  sorry and will try to do better and we believe them. Because why would lie to us. They’re there to help, right?

As you know by now The Institute has satellite offices scattered around the globe and the Southwestern United States, and one of the principal responsibilities of the Director is to visit as many of these offices as he can squeeze into his busy schedule. I attempted to do this over the holidays as sort of a working vacation and found a truly deplorable situation in many of our off site divisions. Things were not up to our very high standards and as a result many of our bureau chiefs and section heads will be finding their way to the local unemployment office to see if they qualify for a career in home healthcare. The Institute is more than just a clever tax dodge, it’s an INSTITUTION for god’s sake. We demand excellence. Things are going to change for the better in 2014. We’ll be bringing you updates on our new improved operations as they occur so stay tuned.

While visiting our many branches I had a few opportunities to photograph some of the incredible locations we work in. I will be sharing some of them with you through out the coming year, such as the view above which was taken off the deck of our new Bureau headquarters on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. I would like to thank our friends at the Department of the Interior for allowing us to construct our new buildings on the south rim since there would be a slight inconvenience to the visiting public. Rerouting the many thousands of annual visitors so they wouldn’t interfere with the delicate projects we have in progress was a big help, and providing the visitors with the opportunity to hike that mile and a quarter around our complex will improve our national health index also. Everyone needs more exercise. (We were tired of them using our deck chairs and letting their kids use the pool without asking. That chain-link fence was a godsend.) Kudos again for posting photographs of the views on the new alternate trail that they would normally be seeing if we weren’t there was a nice touch, Thanks guys. And a quick note of thanks to the park service for being understanding when our blasting removed a large part of Mather Point. You guys are the best.

So once again, here’s to 2014, it’s got to be better.