No Solicitations

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Owls are *day sleepers, which means they work at night and sleep during the day. Because it is difficult to get to sleep during the day and then stay asleep once you do, they are very unforgiving of interruptions. That’s why they post signs all around their nests saying things like “Do Not Disturb” or “Hey! I’m Sleeping here!” or “Beware of the Dog” or “Owl Resting. Don’t even Think about it.” and other notices to make sure it is not disturbed. Because once you disturb an owl it gets, well, owly.

Owly, is a phrase my grandmother, the big one, or big grandma as she was known in the family, compared to little grandma, the small one, who ironically was actually the larger of the two size-wise, (their names had more to do with the volume of said grandmas more than anything else, but never mind that’s a story for another time), would use to warn us that she was aware of our chronic inability to behave, and that she was about to inflict some form of punitive action if we didn’t just stop it. Whatever it was. “You kids are too damn owly. Stop it or I’ll shave your heads again!” One tried but usually failed to behave enough to not get tagged with the owly accusation. I think that may be why I have difficulty maintaining a full head of hair today. Or to be able to look a straight razor in the eye again.

This owl lives in a cemetery where one would think that there would be a surplus of quiet. However that’s not the case. First, lots of people know that the owl lives there and will stop by regularly thinking that whatever they had on their minds was of sufficient importance that it warranted letting the owl know what it was. It wasn’t and the owl being by nature owly, let them know about it in no uncertain terms. So you’re saying to yourself  ” Uhm, hey. That owl is looking directly at you.” and my reply is “Yeah, but…”  I didn’t wake it up I just happened by right after a bunch of Moonies had rung the owl’s bell and tried to convert it. That and the playing of those drums and singing the same thing over and over again did nothing to improve the owls mood. Owls have their own religious beliefs and do not take kindly to zealots trying to change its mind, especially at two PM in the afternoon. Which as you know is their middle of the night. This was taken right after it had hacked up one of those big hairy owl pellets that it can spit with unerring accuracy and scattered said Moonies in every direction. It did look directly at me but having been a day sleeper in another life, I simply gave it the secret hand sign used between all day sleepers and went on my way. I know how hard it is to get great hairy owl pellet stains out of your cashmere sports coat.

 Word of caution then, if you happen to stumble onto an owls nest in the daytime, take heed of those signs, leave that owl be. It has no interest in what you have to say. No matter what you may think. It means it when it says No Solicitations.

*For further information on “Day Sleepers” please see the following posts. http://www.bigshotsnow.com/day-sleeper/  and  http://www.bigshotsnow.com/day-sleepers/