Finalizing Our Report

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Over the last few days we have been sharing items from our semi-annual inspection report of Yellowstone National Park. Every year we have made the arduous journey from The Institute compound, I mean campus, to our favorite national park to provide the public at large a comprehensive overview of the conditions and state of the various park elements. This year was no different. We worked hard to cover every line item on our report, no matter how small or large it appeared to be, we were up at the crack of noon, trudging into the park with all of gear, sometimes doing with only three or four cups of tea and a huge but hearty breakfast, to get everything done that we needed to do that day.

As noted in our opening post the park passed its inspection with flying colors, but as in every year we have produced this report, the park has been noticeably different each year. Some years, it is the year of the wolf, where you find yourself tripping over them as they scramble to be included in every picture. Some years It is the year of the bison where they deliberately have calves in plain sight, right in front of you, even though the park is rated G. Other years it is the year of the bear, that was this year with the bears so plentiful, some were being excluded from the many pictures taken because they weren’t deemed attractive enough by the more discerning viewer, who wanted only the most photogenic bears in their view finders. I know that seems unfair, but life is unfair, and often unkind.

This year the overall atmosphere of the park was, the year it rained forever. It rained everyday, sometimes three or four times at once. It was hard on our equipment, hard on our interns who had to sleep under the Mothership due to them smelling like the dumpster out behind our favorite Italian restaurant, hard on our ability to stay focused and get our work done. Hard to figure out a way of presenting this in a way that would engender sympathy for us doing a job that most folks would kill for, and whining about a little rain. Well quite a bit of rain actually, but even so.

But in many ways it was amazing. The weather in the park although volatile, is usually incredible. Bright blue skies, huge towering clouds, intense colors, incredible blooms of flowers everywhere you looked, everything approaching perfect nearly all the time. It was a  welcome change to see the park under different conditions. To see magnificent storms blow up in moments and have rain so heavy you couldn’t make out the buffalo herd standing twenty-five yards out in the meadows. Normally placid rivers became raging torrents of water, filling their banks, turning small waterfalls into Niagara’s, then just as suddenly stopping, leaving only the sound of raindrops falling from the trees. Places where the mist and fog changed into some kind of fairyland where sound was muffled and huge pine trees would suddenly loom out of the mist as you walked through the woods. It was different but magnificent.

It seems there is change in the park, but then that’s not surprising, seeing as how there is change in the world every where we look. The image above, taken along the Firehole  river as you traveled south towards Old Faithful, represents the endless changes in the conditions at the park this year. It is just clearing after a major downpour that had everyone pulling off the road as the windshield wipers couldn’t handle the amount of water falling. The sun is trying it hardest to break through the clouds, unsuccessfully this time, but long enough to get some of that late afternoon light to shine down on the herd as it grazed. The stark trees in the foreground add a melancholy look to the image but they are just symbols of the change happening every day here in the park. Tomorrow they’ll be gone but will be replaced by saplings that are sprouting around their roots. So will some of these buffalo grazing peacefully. Wolves, impossible winters, old age, all will take its toll but if you look closely you’ll see the bright orange of this years calves. They’ll be here next time, older, bigger, ready to take their place in the herd, filling in the spots that are vacant.

Although there has been a valiant attempt to show you the many different items on our inspection report we have been able to show you only a few of them. This is primarily due to space and time constraints, and partially due to the inability of The Director who will often start a project like this only to wander away and be found staring at a bug or something. Totally oblivious of his responsibilities as the chief creator of this report. But as in many other projects we have explored here at The Institute somehow it all gets done. You may be saying to yourselves ” Wait just a darn minute here. Does Yellowstone National Park really need to be inspected twice a year. Or are you just doing this because you get off on being up there, having fun, misplacing interns, watching animals, taking pictures, meeting new people, saying ‘Hey!” to those you already know, getting goose bumps while listening to the Lamar wolf pack howl. We want to know.” To that we can only answer “You figure it out, Einstein.”

Note : To those of you tuning in late the following posts will catch you up on preceding events. There is no extra charge for this service, it is included in the cost of admission. We know you don’t want to miss a minute of our fascinating but undocumented report.

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/the-words-out/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/yellowstone-passes-inspection/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/ghosts-in-the-darkness/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/you-dont-see-that-every-day/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/now-are-the-foxes/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/into-each-park-some-rain-must-fall/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/through-the-keyhole/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/reflectivity/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/resolvability/

http://www.bigshotsnow.com/terminal-cuteness/

There Be Dragons Here

DragonsHere2088

Today is a gloomy overcast day full of grayness and cold, a complete change from the tropical weather of yesterday. Snow has fallen overnight which is normally a beautiful sight as it clings to the razor wire around the compound, I mean the campus here at The Institute. But not today, today it has a melancholy feel, not depressing as such, just one that makes you want to sit somewhere cozy with a warm body snuggled up at your feet and look out the window. Perhaps sunk deep in the burgundy leather of your favorite wingback chair, a sense of comfort and safety as if you were young and sitting in the lap of an old black woman, listening to her hum softly, everything new and clear and wondrous, drinking a hot cup of Jasmine tea, letting the steam warm your face as you contemplate your many trials and tribulations, wondering, considering what you might have done different with your life if you had been born a Prince of one of the more exotic islands in the South China Sea.

When this happens it’s easy to get lost in that moment, to find you’ve spent the entire day doing nothing. It’s a seductive time and one that is difficult to break free of if you don’t have something to take your mind off the past. Fortunately we have many  diversions here at The Institute, one of which is my all time favorite to visit when I need a change of attitude. And that of course, is the dragon hatchery. Many of you may be unaware of the fact that The Institute has the only certified, licensed and bonded dragon hatchery in the world. It is the world’s best, most productive, dragon hatchery in existence, and the only one operating as a commercial venture.

The hatchery occupies the lower northeastern wing of The Institute so that the light level remains more consistent throughout the day. This is important because recreating the subtle light of the undergrowth provided in many of the tropical areas where we get our breeding stock makes for a healthier dragon population. Dragons become overly excited in the harsh light of mid-day so we try to keep the light levels at a point that keeps them more agreeable. It also cuts down on our intern losses as the dragons temperament is directly related to their fire output. A calm dragon is a safe dragon.

As a commercial facility we provide dragons for the majority of the films being produced today. I’m sure you seen some of our alumni in the Larry Potter stories but one of our most famous graduates was Draco, the dragon in DragonHeart, a 1996 film starring  Dennis Quaid, David Thewlis, Peter Postlethwaite and Dina Meyer as Kara, the love interest. Our dragons are given full theatrical training, voice and Dance, both tap and ballroom and trained to do their own stunts. One of Draco’s most outstanding talents was his ability to perfectly mimic Sean Connery ‘s voice. This of course, made him a lock for the part and won him his first Charby award, a prestigious award presented by his peers in the dragon community. He has since gone on to a career in voice-over work providing the voices of many of the most beloved animated characters in many Disney films.

The dragon in the image above is a RistCanyon Alpine Climber, a mini-breed that we have been exclusively developing for the movie trade, theme parks, restaurant openings, and in some cases exotic pets for those that can afford them. What makes this breed special is the fact that it has a heatless flame that can be seen in bright sunlight up to a distance of 25 feet. This is an incredible sight to behold what with the roaring and its fierce stance, and the fact that it will scare the hell out of the neighborhood Dobermans doesn’t hurt either. It’s a manageable size, growing to a length of 15’ or less, it is more docile than some of our other breeds and it is good with children, quieter ones that is, we’re working on that, but in any event this is a spectacular dragon and we’re proud to call it our own.

This is always a soothing contemplative place to come, the dragon hatchery. To stand quietly and listen to the rustling of the dragons moving through the foliage, to hear them test their wings and feel the strength of the wind they produce with those mighty downstrokes, watching the quickening in their eye as they hear the subtle bleating of the sheep as the interns prepare to toss them into the enclosure. I never tire of that sight. I’m glad I came down here today. I was on the edge of feeling peckish, but now I think it will be a good day. I hope yours is too.

A quick note. If you are interested in purchasing or renting one of our dragons please be advised that our waiting list is 4 years out and we will soon be forced to stop taking names. I would advise calling our Dragon Marketing director, Crispy Bellows, as soon as possible to get on the list. Crispy is intimately familiar with all of our dragons many moods and peccadillos and is the person to talk to if you are unfamiliar with handling dragons. You can obtain pricing, insurance rates, and other pertinent information from Crispy at any time.