I Don’t Get Ulcers… I Give’em

RMNP 2005-1629-Editclick to enlarge

Many,many strange things happen out in the wild. Some make sense, others take awhile to figure out. Normally these cow elk are placid, shy, introverted animals. They don’t look like drill sergeants or the Mayor of Chicago. But this young cow appears to break the mold. ( whenever I see the phrase “Young Cow” it reminds me of that old joke, “How do you say Calf in Chinese? answer – Young Cow.” but enough about humor. This is serious business.) That greenish thing she has in her mouth is a bone. She held it in her mouth like an old stogie and appeared to be chewing on it but not trying to break it up, just rearranging it for maximum taste. There are lots of places in Rocky Mountain National Park, where this event took place, that are wetlands, not quite swamps but very damp areas with some standing water and dense stands of Aspen and in this area were the remains of a dead elk. The bones were algae green and scattered about and she nosed through the pile before finding the one she liked best. Elk aren’t normally cannibalistic, at least in this dimension, yet this is very puzzling behavior. To get to the bottom of this mystery we consulted with our staff Mammologist, Dr. Frieda Houf, here at the World Headquarters of our Media Empire and asked her “Hey, What’s up with all this elk eating bones and stuff?” It turns out that this phenomenon isn’t as strange as we first thought. Herbivores, ungulates and other creatures who eat mainly grass lack a lot of the essential minerals and vitamins that we get from our diet of cramming whatever will fit into our mouths, and consequently they have to get those things wherever they can. Bones being made up mainly of really hard milk, and you know what’s in milk don’t you? Right, Calcium. Funny as it sounds calcium is needed to make strong healthy bones. This is why you should drink at least three gallons of milk a day. So you see, the circle comes around and there it is. Bone sucking by cow elk makes for strong healthy bones. Not so strange now is it? It is insight like this that makes the members of our staff here at the World Headquarters of our Media Empire so valuable. Unfortunately we can’t pay them anything at the moment, which is causing some dark murmuring down in the PHD dorm but hey, we don’t control the economy. The fact that they can come up to the big house I mean the headquarters occasionally to get warm should count for something. So there it is, another fact about the natural environment that surrounds us. Pass it on.