Cows Behaving Badly

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This story like so many others starts innocently enough. We have a young girl just discovering her budding cow-hood. She’s young, she’s beautiful and like so many other young girls, she just wants to have fun. The herd is spending a lovely June afternoon at Sheep lake in Rocky Mountain National Park, the water is cool, there are snacks to nibble on and best of all she can see herself reflected in the mirror-like surface of the lake.

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Noticing some of the young bulls grazing nearby she manages to delicately display some hoof under the guise of removing some non-existent reeds.

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Since she has the lake to herself at the moment she unwisely decides to cavort in a most unseemly manner in an effort to become the center of attention. She notices that all the nearby bulls are now paying very close attention to her.

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So she coyly begins her dance by striking the water with her front hoof in a provocative display, all sense of decorum has now flown out the window and she gives in to her base desires to be noticed.

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Relinquishing all common sense she gyrates wildly in a pagan display of abandonment and casts off all modesty and proper ladylike demurement.

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Beginning to tire a bit and flush with the excitement of being the star of the afternoon she slows her dance and decides to reap some of the benefits of her endeavors.

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Thinking to rejoin the herd as the new queen of the meadow she approached the others with thoughts of “I feel pretty, I feel pretty, I feel pretty and witty and wise” running through her head.

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Until she meets mom, that is. Things are not going as planned. Statements of “Have you “completely lost your mind” and “What were you thinking” land on deaf ears.

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Seeing that she is not having the desired effect on this wayward child, efforts ratchet up. Harsh words are spoken. Words like “Strumpet, and “Hussy” and even “Trollop” are spoken out loud in an effort to bring this child to her senses.

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But unfortunately it is all to no avail. It’s back to the lake to show off again. She is not going to be treated like a child and be denied her fun in the sun, not today.

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Even more determined to be seen as a young cow of the world she puts on an even greater display of wanton behavior in a vain attempt to recapture that glorious feeling of being the center of attention and the queen of the meadow.

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However the moment is gone and her desperate attempts to recapture that former glory are just that, desperate.

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Now she reaps the bitter fruits of her rebelliousness. Rejected by the herd for her not quite lewd but certainly lascivious display she is shunned and sent to the far outer limits of the meadow to ponder her actions and hopefully learn that decorum is the rule to ladylike behavior and herd acceptance. Growing up can be hard during this time in her life but thankfully she has only been brazen and has not succumbed to dangerous and unlawful activities such as sneaking off and eating locoweed like some of the other young cows have done. So there is hope for her yet. After she realizes that her elders were only interested in her well being and if she is contrite she will be welcomed back into the herd with open arms. The  moral here is not “If you got it Flaunt it” but instead, be careful young cows, your reputation is all you have.”